- Calvin: In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
- Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons p58
- Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
- Hobbes: (Reading Calvin’s paper) “The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes.”
- Calvin: Academia, here I come!
- Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p62
- Calvin (writing, after being asked to explain Newton’s First Law of Motion “in his own words”): Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. (speaking) I love loopholes.
- There’s Treasure Everywhere p133
- Calvin: History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
- Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p152
- Calvin: I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life’s problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don’t you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don’t you think?… Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?
- The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes p94
- Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
- Hobbes: (Reading Calvin’s paper) “The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes.”
- Calvin: Academia, here I come!
- Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p62
- Calvin: The problem with people is that they don’t look at the big picture. Eventually, we’re each going to die, our species will go extinct, the sun will explode, and the universe will collapse. Existence isn’t only temporary, it’s pointless! We’re all doomed, and worse, nothing matters!
- Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p125
- For an enjoyable print interview with the reclusive Bill Watterson visit this site.
MattTroupe.net 
I am surprised that Watterston has never attended church. His favorite theologian is John Calvin.
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