Some Important Quotes from Calvin and Hobbes

Calvin: In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons p58
Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
Hobbes: (Reading Calvin’s paper) “The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes.”
Calvin: Academia, here I come!

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p62

 

Calvin (writing, after being asked to explain Newton’s First Law of Motion “in his own words”): Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. (speaking) I love loopholes.

There’s Treasure Everywhere p133

 

Calvin: History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p152
Calvin: I think life should be more like TV. I think all of life’s problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don’t you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothing, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don’t you think?… Then again, if real life was like that, what would we watch on television?

The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes p94

 

Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?
Hobbes: (Reading Calvin’s paper) “The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes.”
Calvin: Academia, here I come!

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p62

 

Calvin: The problem with people is that they don’t look at the big picture. Eventually, we’re each going to die, our species will go extinct, the sun will explode, and the universe will collapse. Existence isn’t only temporary, it’s pointless! We’re all doomed, and worse, nothing matters!

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat p125
For an enjoyable print interview with the reclusive Bill Watterson visit this site.

When a Poem is a Symptom of Illness


This is a poem I wrote last year, while taking an anatomy class. It is probably nothing to be proud of, but it makes me chuckle. It also makes it hard to deny that I sometimes suffer from mental derangement:

Ode to Capillaries

Capillaries deserve great respect,
Great wisdom in design they reflect
Arterioles and venules they connect
The blood comes here after it’s trekked,
To vessels so small we cannot inspect,
Nutrients and oxygen they like to eject,
And gather the waste that tends to collect
And wash out the stuff that tries to infect,
My fav-o-rite vessel if I had to select.

Matt Troupe
5/07

Mark Twain Quotes

I recently came across a little book full of little quips from Mark Twain. He was a wisecracker for sure, and definitely makes me chuckle. His observations about human nature often have an uncanny accuracy for someone who was not exactly friendly to Christianity. Enjoy!


“There are 3 kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

“Get your facts first, then distort them as much as you please.”

“The man with a new idea is a crank until he succeeds.”

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you . This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.”

“Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt. And children.”

“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.”

“Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”

“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”